November Rain
by OokamiJudge
Summary: Forever is a very long time can there really ever be such a thing? Can the ‘cold hearted’ ever say what they truly mean or even feel enough to love? rewritten some


Disclaimer: Neither House nor the song 'November Rain' by Guns N' Roses are mine. So that tends ta mean I'm makin jack from this, but it wasn't inspired by the Anarchy this time. This time it was the Chaos, yes my friends go by odd names ;)

**_Author's Note: I have rewritten it some to try and make it more understandable after several people pointed out it was confusing. Going back though this really I don't blame any of you, I had trouble at some parts trying to remember who's POV I was in._**

**_When I look into your eyes  
I can see a love restrained  
But darlin' when I hold you  
Don't you know I feel the same_**

He had never been one for sentiments, his 'cold hearted' lover known as House to most, but he was used to it. He had seen it in his eyes, how he really felt. Then again by that he could be called the same simply because he had never said it either. He had been hurt to many times to say it even to him. He, Wilson, was the other man's only friend and they had been friends longer then lovers, but neither could find it in him to say it all the same. All he needed was to have him here though, in his arms. Neither were ones for sentiment, but if he just had the older man in his arms he thought that at least then he would know that he did love him as much as he did.

**_'Cause nothin' lasts forever  
And we both know hearts can change  
And it's hard to hold a candle  
In the cold November rain_**

Wilson didn't think Gregory did though. The way he usually pushed him away as he did. He knew it could be because he didn't love him anymore, but he didn't think that was it. He thought that maybe it was just House being House. Trying to shut out the world and his pain by trying to pretend no ones cares, because if he doesn't care then it is ok to leave him if Gregory thinks he is getting to close. He hates that he knows the other so well that he could have a hope of knowing what was going though his head, but he has known him too long now to not.

**_We've been through this such a long long time  
Just tryin' to kill the pain_**

Wilson himself had had three wives in the past and the other man had had his one. It took time to work past these things and the hurt that each had caused, but it was slow in going. They had been helping each other to try and get past it for a while now trying to fight off the hurt, but some hurts ran deeper then others. So weather it was his three or the other's one it was hard for what they had done.

**_But lovers always come and lovers always go  
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today  
Walking away_**

He didn't want to say goodbye to him. If he did that then it would be over. Wilson didn't want it to be over though and he could tell by that look the other man's eyes held that House didn't either. The love was still there, but neither had their heart in it anymore. Maybe at one time both of them had, but not anymore. He didn't know which of them had decided it, but it was over he knew it.

**_If we could take the time  
to lay it on the line  
I could rest my head  
Just knowin' that you were mine  
All mine  
So if you want to love me  
then darlin' don't refrain  
Or I'll just end up walkin'  
In the cold November rain_**

He hated to see House go he did Wilson just didn't know what to do about it. He could say what needed to be said to stop this no easier then the other man could. They just couldn't put them selves out there. He had been hurt too much and the other had been hurt to deeply. He wanted to though, Wilson wanted to more then he had thought possible. He wanted him to stay and he wanted them to stay together. He slept better on the nights he knew the gruff man was around then on those when he wasn't. Even the couch in House's apartment was the best place ever in the world to sleep on those days. The only thing that was better then having him close was having him even closer. Was having Gregory in the same bed with nothing on. James knew some people didn't think he was very good looking, but he knew different. Even that injured leg of his didn't take away from his odd beauty. He could feel his chest clench as he picked up his bag and turned his back on him. He lifted his hand and opened his mouth to stop him, but his courage failed him and he turned his gaze to the floor as he left him.

**_Do you need some time...on your own  
Do you need some time...all alone  
Everybody needs some time...  
on their own  
Don't you know you need some time...all alone_**

Everything had gone so fast. One moment he and Wilson had been friends and then they had been eating dinner and watching a move as usual. He didn't know which had started it just as he couldn't tell which had ended it now, but they had been all over each other that night. The next day for the first time in no one knew how long Gregory hadn't touched his pills. He had thought that it meant something, that it meant that maybe he could help fight off the pain she had caused him, but not a day since then had come or gone with no pills. Now he only hoped that it was time that he needed. Some time to himself before he would be back, because he didn't know if he could live without James anymore.

**_I know it's hard to keep an open heart  
When even friends seem out to harm you  
But if you could heal a broken heart  
Wouldn't time be out to charm you_**

Wilson really couldn't blame him though, not really. His team, the people House was supposed to be able to trust, had been after him more then once. Sad as it was even he couldn't claim innocence on that case. He knew that was one thing that kept them apart, the past harm he had done House. At the time it had seemed what had to be done, but now he really couldn't see it anymore. As he heard the click of the closing door he suddenly felt so cold as he realized there was probably no way he could ever heal that hurt.

**_Sometimes I need some time...on my  
own  
Sometimes I need some time...all alone  
Everybody needs some time...  
on their own  
Don't you know you need some time...all alone_**

He would dearly love to if it meant having him back. James needed to think to work out his own feelings though. Was it just a now thing or a forever thing that he felt for the other man. He didn't know, not really. He hadn't yet stopped to decide because in truth he didn't want to. If Wilson stopped to think and it was just a now thing he didn't know if he could take it. It was what he had wanted for long as he could remember now, a thing that would be a forever thing. His gone wives were a now thing, he didn't want another now thing he had had enough of those. He wanted a forever thing.

**_And when your fears subside  
And shadows still remain  
I know that you can love me  
When there's no one left to blame  
So never mind the darkness  
We still can find a way  
'Cause nothin' lasts forever  
Even cold November rain_**

As Wilson sank into a chair he hoped beyond hope that he would be back. Once it was all over and he realized he wasn't out to hurt him he hoped he would come back to him. He hoped that he could work past the pain he had caused him and that he could remember his feelings. He didn't know if he would though not for sure. The problem was nothing James knew of ever could be a 'forever thing', nothing. He hated it he really did that this might just be the end of it. It hurt to call it that. It hurt as he sat there feeling cold and alone in his apartment. It hurt the next day at work when he had to pass House and when nothing happened as normal. It just hurt and everyone knew it too he could tell by the way they were looking at him. Then again how could he blame them, he was always smiling and hadn't once managed anything but a sad look that day. The day after was the same, and the one after that.

**_Don't ya think that you need somebody  
Don't ya think that you need someone  
Everybody needs somebody  
You're not the only one  
You're not the only one_**

James could see more and more people avoiding House and hear more grumbling about his attitude, it must be getting worse, but he didn't know. It had been a week now since he himself had walked out and they hadn't said a word to each other. For the first time he had actually been late to work today, he just hadn't been able to find it in him to get out of bed only the thought that he did have patents managed to motivate him in the end. It didn't get him out of his office though. Wilson hadn't left it except at lunch and even then he hadn't really eaten much of it. He needed House, he knew that much as he hated to admit it he did need him. It took nearly as much work to go home that night as it had to come to work just because he didn't want to go home to his empty apartment. It was nearly midnight when Wilson got back and all he could do was stand there at the sight that greeted him.

The television was on, there was take out food on the table, and sleeping on the couch there he was. James didn't know weather it was real or not, but when he called to Gregory and the grumbled reply was something along the lines of needing sleep and chase being an idiot he knew it was. He made his way to the other man and woke Gregory up enough to get him to the bed not wanting to hear about being left to sleep on the couch. That night Wilson held him closer then he ever had and for the first time in a while he thought that maybe there could be a forever. That maybe just maybe he might one day be able to actually say what he wanted to say to him.


End file.
